I have lost 100% of my money in Kingfisher and I am pissed.
Pissed with Kingfisher. Pissed with Wife. Pissed with Amex.
Pissed with Amex? What’s wrong with me? And how did I end up investing in Kingfisher?
Well, one evening, I took a friend to a very nice fusion food restaurant in south Delhi called Indian Accent.
I had booked a table for dinner using my Amex card concierge service but Amex screwed up. When we arrived, we were told there was no table booked for us.
My face, neck and ears suddenly felt impossibly hot. What must my friend be thinking? How could Amex do this to me? To ME?
In a fit, I yanked out my phone and called Amex. The girl on the other end of the line — we will call her Shilpa— couldn’t possibly have felt the heat of fury on my face but surely she would have been terrified of my shaking, trembling, and very loud voice.
CANCEL MY CARD NOW! I shouted.
While that poor girl was still trying to figure out how the fuck up happened, I borrowed a pair of scissors from the restaurant, cut up my card into two pieces and then told her how nice it felt to do it. Brilliant!
And then I remembered my points. A few hundred thousand of them. Shit!
I was about to lose my lovely Amex points. Deprival Super Reaction time! Do something! Why not transfer them to my Kingfisher air miles account? Great idea!
So I ordered Shilpa to immediately transfer them to my Kingfisher miles account. This happened about 18 months ago, when Kingfisher was not dead yet, had all its planes, and had very cheerful staff. Shilpa made the transfer with just a few keystrokes and that was that. For now.
Amex got in touch with me later, apologised about the fuck up, compensated me for the embarrassment, and reissued my card. But my Amex card points were now Kingfisher miles.
Things got worse for the airline and a time came when I was just too scared to be on a Kingfisher flight being flown by a very depressed pilot who hadn’t been paid his salary for several months and who felt that “today, I will teach him a lesson, now where’s that penthouse? ”
Why take that risk?
But, why, you ask, didn’t I redeem my miles earlier? Well, my wife wouldn’t let me. The risk of cancelled flights was just too high, she reckoned. She switched me to super-efficient, low-cost Indigo and I never looked back.
And that, dear reader, is my sad story of how I ended up becoming an unpaid and unsecured creditor of a high-cost, highly-leveraged, loss-making, and soon-to-be-shut-down airline.
Who’s to blame for my losses? Amex. Kingfisher. Wife.
All of them. Anyone but me.